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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29119425">I Won't Give Up</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/JehBeeEh/pseuds/JehBeeEh'>JehBeeEh</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>I am under-prepared, but I am willing [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel Cinematic Universe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>De-Serumed Steve Rogers, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 05:02:17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,427</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29119425</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/JehBeeEh/pseuds/JehBeeEh</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“I can do this, I’ve done harder things that didn’t have as great a payoff,” Tony told himself as the elevator took him down a few floors to Steve’s space. “Of course, I was never at risk of losing Steve in the process but still. He might still say yes. This isn’t a disaster. Yet.”</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Steve Rogers/Tony Stark</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>I am under-prepared, but I am willing [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2136618</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>236</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I Won't Give Up</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Welcome to February!!!<br/>The unofficial month of love needed to be celebrated with one of my fave things ever - proposals!!! I hope you enjoy these little fics I've cooked up. If you love love and proposals and Stony as much as I do, I invite you to subscribe/follow this new series for an extra special little treat this month :)</p><p>A special thanks to Elwenyere for cheering this one, Flame for some amazing Beta-ing, and a super duper special thank you to my dearest Moody for so many things I cannot even start to list them all (and I sure as shit would not be posting a single one of them without you). &lt;3</p><p>This prompt was a POTS server prompt from HooleQuin - Tony proposing to a de-serumed Steve (I totally borrowed a couple lines of text you'd offered up as the prompt). Steve was not being very cooperative with my original idea and this got a bit more h/c than I expected it, but I do hope you enjoy it.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“I can do this, I’ve done harder things that didn’t have as great a payoff,” Tony told himself as the elevator took him down a few floors to Steve’s space. “Of course, I was never at risk of losing Steve in the process but still. He might still say yes. This isn’t a disaster. Yet.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tony sighed and let his head hit the elevator wall. Everything had been an absolute mess the past few weeks. An unexpected battle with Hydra goons had somehow left Steve de-serumed and no one could figure out how or why it had happened. It wasn’t magic, Steve hadn’t been hit by anything that they could see. One minute they were happily shopping at some cute little market, the next they got accosted by Hydra, and after a short fist fight, Steve barely fit in his medium shirt, much less his pants. Tony had been so preoccupied with Steve he’d let the baddies get away – which Steve had been mad about for a week – and none of the surveillance footage they’d recovered gave any clues.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve had been obviously distraught by the whole ordeal. The grumpiness had gotten progressively worse as Bruce and Tony ran test after test and couldn’t figure out what had happened or how. And much less how to reverse it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As the days went on, Steve had retreated into himself, keeping away from the team and even Tony. He had moved back into his floor saying he needed space, he never came to team meetings or hung out on the common floors. Tony saw less and less of his boyfriend unless he initiated, and that was starting to feel like he was imposing some days. He missed waking up next to Steve or having him pop by the workshop. Impromptu date nights. Just any time with Steve, really.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And tonight was a night out they’d planned before all this happened. And he wasn’t sure if Steve even remembered, much less if he’d want to go out at all. Tony had brought flowers and had a back up plan in case Steve wasn’t in the mood to go out. He was determined to have this night go well, despite everything. Something </span>
  <em>
    <span>had</span>
  </em>
  <span> to go well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tony knocked on Steve’s door once. And again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“JARVIS, you sure he’s home?” Tony mumbled before knocking a third time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Affirmative, sir. I have advised him you are at the door,” JARVIS replied.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tony waited a minute longer before Steve finally opened up. The door flung open with no greeting and Steve was on his way to his couch, presumably where he’d just come from.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey sweetheart,” Tony said slowly as he let himself in. “Whatcha up to?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve pointed at the TV, and mumbled baseball, as if this was the most logical answer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can get us tickets if you want. Name the day.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks,” was all Steve replied as he curled himself tighter on the sofa. And Tony was once again shocked by how little space this Steve took up. Not just physically, either.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I, um, guess we aren’t going out then, huh?” Tony asked when Steve didn’t add more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did we have plans?” he retorted, his tone short and irritated.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. We were supposed to go out tonight. We planned it weeks ago.” Tony shuffled his weight around, hoping Steve would answer him. When no reply came he smiled softly, trying to force himself to believe any of this might end well. “We don’t have to go anywhere though, I’ll have JARVIS cancel everything. Wanna order in? I can have your fave delivered instead?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve shook his head. “I had a late lunch, I’m good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Tony answered with a nod. “Can we maybe, talk? Or something.” </span>
  <em>
    <span>Wow, this is not going well</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Tony thought to himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve turned the TV off and sat up, tucking his knees into his chest and his arms tightly around them. “What’s up?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tony sat himself next to Steve, tucking a leg underneath himself so he could sit sideways and look at Steve. “Got these for you,” he smiled again as he set the flowers on the side table. “I miss you, sweetheart.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry,” Steve let out, barely above a whisper.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have to apologize. I can’t begin… This has to be such a mindfuck for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Understatement of the year.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tony swallowed against a lump in his throat at seeing his usually vibrant boyfriend like this, and decided there was no time like the present.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look, there’s something I’ve been wanting to ask you. And I know things are crazy right now, but I thought maybe this might, I dunno… I don’t want to say it’ll make anything better because it likely won’t make everything better. But maybe, for today, things can feel like they used to.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve gave him a cautious look and Tony just smiled back at him as he started into the short speech he had practiced more than any other in his life.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We both know this wasn’t love at first sight. It took lots of work before we trusted each other and even more before we went on our first date. But now… Steve, I can’t imagine my life without you in it. We’ve gone through more ups and downs than most people could ever dream of, and somehow, we’re still here. Together. And I don’t want that to ever change.” Tony reached inside his jacket pocket and pulled out a box, which finally got some form of reaction from Steve. “Steven Grant Rogers, I would be the luckiest man if you’d do me the honour of becoming my husband.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve stared at the box for a long time before he said anything. Long enough for Tony to start to worry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"There's two rings in there," he finally said. Tony had anticipated the question, but in his mind, it came after a resounding yes and celebration of some sort.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah. I got the original one a couple months ago. I know eventually you'll get back to your fully-muscled form, but in the meantime, I wanted you to have a ring you could wear now, you know?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What if I stay like this?” Steve’s tone was flat, and it absolutely gutted Tony to hear him so uncharacteristically defeated.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tony reached out and squeezed Steve’s arm gently, making sure his voice projected how absolutely sure he was about this fact. “I’m not worried about that at all.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve shook his head and rolled his eyes like they used to do when they’d first met. When all they seemed to do was disagree with each other vehemently. “You should be. No one wants to be stuck with this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not </span>
  <em>
    <span>stuck</span>
  </em>
  <span> with anything.” Tony dropped the ring box next to the flowers and cupped Steve’s face in his hands, coaxing him to look his way. “What's going on, gorgeous?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don't.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Steve-"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can we not do this right now?” Steve shook out of Tony’s gentle grasp, pushing away another attempt Tony made to touch him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Um, yeah, sure. I can leave. Can I just say this one thing? Then I’m out of here.” When Steve didn’t protest, he continued. “I can't imagine what this must feel like for you. I won't even try. All I know is I don't- I don't care what you look like. I don't mind this one bit, I think you’re just as beautiful as ever. But you have to talk to me, sweetheart. I don’t know how to fix this- </span>
  <em>
    <span>us</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Please, do not doubt that I love </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Steve. Just because the outside changed a bit-"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A bit?!” Steve scoffed. “This isn't a bit. No one ever gave me the time of day when I looked like this. This-" he shot up and waved up and down to himself before he started pacing in front of Tony, “is not something people want as a boyfriend, let alone a husband. I know you’re proposing now hoping I’ll just go back to myself. What happens when I don't, huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then, I'm engaged to Steve Rogers. The kindest, most loving, attentive man I have ever met. A smart, passionate, artistic human that I cannot wait to come home to at the end of every day. And wake up with every morning. And do really, really naughty things with at night. My absolutely gorgeous boyfriend, inside and out, regardless how many buses he can bench press. My best friend. The man who loves </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span>, even though my past is less than stellar. Even with all my imperfections. I’m engaged, and hopefully soon married, to </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve had stopped pacing at some point and was standing in front of Tony. His face was twisted with sadness but also something that resembled hope.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tony reached a hand towards him and pulled Steve onto his lap when he slid his own, now much slender hand, in his.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is kinda weird,” Steve huffed as he straddled Tony's thighs and curled himself on his chest, his arms wrapped around his waist.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tony nuzzled into his hair, the same way Steve always did to him when they were in the reverse position. He held Steve close, fingers grazing up and down his back and his other hand carding through his hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It's different,” Tony agreed. “But I like this just as much as I liked you holding me like this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lots of things are going to be different,” Steve mused.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mm-hmm, but different doesn’t mean bad. Different doesn’t mean I don’t love you. Different means more work, but it doesn’t mean I’m giving up on you or us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve nodded against Tony's chest and remained quiet for a while.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I really messed this up, huh?” Steve sighed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not sure what you're talking about, but you messed nothing up.” Tony kissed his hair, letting his lips linger in the golden soft strands. “You're allowed to be freaked out, babe. But you don’t have to worry about talking to me about it. You can’t keep this bottled up like you’ve done since this happened. Bruce and I are doing everything we can, but it’s not because I </span>
  <em>
    <span>need</span>
  </em>
  <span> you to be a walking Dorito-shaped supersoldier. But we can’t keep shit from each other, cause this won’t go well. Or, if you don’t want to talk to me about it, that’s fair, we can try and find you someone to talk with. Whatever you want. Just tell me what you want, sweetheart.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve pushed himself to a sitting position and looked at Tony a beat, as if searching his face for anything that might tell him Tony was lying or not saying something. No matter how different he might look, some things were still fully and completely Steve Rogers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” he said simply.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tony smiled and pulled their foreheads together. “Good. I’ll call the therapist-"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, not that.” Steve pulled back enough and held Tony's face in his hands now, a small smile on his lips. “The first question you asked. That I didn’t answer.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have to answer now, it can wait.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I want to, though. I want to marry you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh. In that case, can I-" Tony pointed to the rings on the side table and Steve nodded back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tony grabbed the smaller band and slid it on Steve's ring finger, kissing his hand before Steve pulled him into a kiss. The kind of kiss they hadn't shared in weeks. A kiss that ignited every cell in Tony's body at the thought of Steve being the one kissing and wanting him this way. One that had blood rushing south faster than he could control.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, hello there,” Steve chuckled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, no, you can ignore that situation. No pressure at all. The kissing is more than good enough if that's all you want. We don't have to-"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve cut him off with another kiss. “I want that too,” he whispered against Tony's lips, shifting forward so he pressed up against Tony's stomach, revealing just how interested he also was. “I thought </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>didn't want that. With me. Anymore. It was one of the reasons I was so… I don’t even know what word to use, but you’ve been around me, you have an idea.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was just trying to give you space. From that. I didn’t want to pressure you if you didn’t want to- I should’ve just asked. You just seemed so distant, I didn’t want to add more… My brain's done a great job supplying some fantasies I wanted to fulfill, but my hand just isn't as good as the real deal I guess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve laughed, a sound Tony loved more than he realized now after being deprived of it for what felt like an eternity, and Tony pressed their lips together again, tongue searching for entry quickly. Which only made Steve laugh more, making it impossible to kiss him. Tony moved, his lips eager to be on Steve again, kissing his jaw and neck and nibbling on his ear instead.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We really should have done a better job at talking things out, huh?” Steve asked between low moans of pleasure.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That feels so off-brand for us though. We are definitely more the misunderstandings, miscommunications, and make-up sex types.” Tony replied playfully. “Wanna move this somewhere more comfortable? And possibly horizontal?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck yeah. But I should warn you, in the interest of communicating and all… I haven't done any of that in this body before. I don't know how it'll go.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tony pulled back at the slight edge in Steve's tone. The worry was back and he was biting his lower lip and Tony wanted to kiss it all away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We don’t have to do this at all. We can stop at any time. That has always been the case and won't change, especially now. We can take it as slow as you want. Work our way to wall-sex fantasies very slowly.” Steve smiled. Tony ran his fingers down the side of Steve's face as he spoke. “Heck, we can even stay here and keep making out, I’m fine with that. Just tell me what you want.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve grabbed his hand over his cheek and kissed his wrist. “Take me to bed, fiancé,” he replied with a soft smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That sounds so good,” Tony murmured before stealing one last kiss. He moved his hands under Steve's ass and stood, as Steve threw his arms and legs around him in a death grip.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Coulda warned me!” he yelped with a laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like you ever did.” Tony replied sweetly as he walked them to Steve's bed.</span>
</p>
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